xburnside
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Location: EastCincy+Conley
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Mood: think, then act
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 posted on 11-4-2009 at 10:45 PM |
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Laws
I added this one: Law of the Houseboat:
Anything that is dropped, will bounce or roll into the lake.
LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theatre:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the
carpet/rug.
Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
If you don't know history, you are bound to repeat it ~
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yeahbuddy
Master Member
Posts: 551
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Mood: don't spread my wealth, spread my work ethic!
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![[*]](./images/xpsilver/default_icon.gif) posted on 11-5-2009 at 09:00 AM |
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Law of the houseboat II. The probability that one or more engines will not start rises proportionally with the importance of the cruise or the number
of guests on board you are trying to impress. Law III all ropes naturally miagrate to outdrive units to nest. Law IV the most likely place for a
houseboat engine to go out is in the final turn into one's dock while all other dockmates are watching.
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LoonyToons
Senior Member
Posts: 252
Registered: 4-3-2005
Location: Northern Ky.
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| posted on 11-5-2009 at 09:40 AM |
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Variation law II.... Whatever checkout line you select will move the slowest.
Theater law II.... The largest person in the theater will seat themselves directly in front of you just as the movie starts.
Off to see the Lizard.....
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Spoonbill
Master Member
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Location: South of the Arctic Ocean
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| posted on 11-5-2009 at 09:52 AM |
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These are good and do appear to be cast in stone.
"Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment."
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yeahbuddy
Master Member
Posts: 551
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Mood: don't spread my wealth, spread my work ethic!
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| posted on 11-5-2009 at 07:12 PM |
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Spoonbill, I heard your anthem said a slightly different way but both meanings are the same. Wisdom comes from experience and experience comes from
bad judgement. What a world, what a world.
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yeahbuddy
Master Member
Posts: 551
Registered: 1-2-2008
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Mood: don't spread my wealth, spread my work ethic!
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| posted on 11-5-2009 at 07:20 PM |
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Another Law: parts don't break until the parts store closes. Another law, anything you need can be found at Wal-Mart, if you just look long enough.
Example, I needed a 12" 12volt, 3000K flourescent tube for a light on the boat. I ordered two of these rare items off of EBAY only to find three
hanging on the rack at the Monticello Wallyworld the day after mine came in.
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Spoonbill
Master Member
Posts: 2882
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Location: South of the Arctic Ocean
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Mood: Good
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| posted on 11-5-2009 at 07:55 PM |
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yeahbuddy
Know what you mean, as soon as you tell someone you bought something. They say, I wish I knew you needed that, I threw three of them away yesterday.
"Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment."
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Spoonbill
Master Member
Posts: 2882
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Location: South of the Arctic Ocean
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Mood: Good
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| posted on 11-5-2009 at 08:25 PM |
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Any time you put an item in a "safe place", it will never be seen again.
"Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment."
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squakmeister
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| posted on 11-5-2009 at 08:47 PM |
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If you call a corporation to talk to "Customer Service" and you hear them speak spanish in their "Welcome Message" - -
"HAND UP YOUR PHONE IMMEDIATELY". Otherwise, you will do one or more of the following:
- spend an hour listening to elevator music
- learn (without looking) where the 1-2-3-4-5 and the # buttons are located on the phone key pad
- talk to everybody in the corporation other than "Customer Service"
- listen to people say, "they can help you with that", but never do
- learn what a "LOOP" is in an automated phone answering system
- be told to "have a nice day" in what sounds like 6 different languages
- discover at the end of the month, you have been charged a total of $50 for something you didn't want and have no use for
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Flyboy
Senior Member
Posts: 129
Registered: 7-11-2007
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Mood: Satisfied
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| posted on 11-5-2009 at 09:32 PM |
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I have always wondered
Is it colder in the winter than in the north, or hotter in the summer than in the south.
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SplendidIsolation
Member
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Location: Liberty Township,OH/Star Point Village
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| posted on 11-6-2009 at 05:52 AM |
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Cell Phone Law: The louder and more annoying (your favorite song) that your ringtone is, the longer it takes you to answer it.
I would rather be a large part of the problem than a small part of the solution.--Kinky Friedman
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yeahbuddy
Master Member
Posts: 551
Registered: 1-2-2008
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Mood: don't spread my wealth, spread my work ethic!
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| posted on 11-6-2009 at 07:46 AM |
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Law of the shower: Get in the shower and lather up your hair in order to make your cell phone ring.
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geode hunter
Junior Member
Posts: 35
Registered: 9-16-2009
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 posted on 11-6-2009 at 02:40 PM |
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Using the law of probability to your advantage!
I spend a lot of time out in the fields and woods alone fishing, rock collecting,etcetera. I have never really gotten lost, but if you ever do you
can use the law of probability to save yourself in the following way! Once you are ABSOLUTELY SURE that you are really lost, simply take off all of
your clothes and stand there. Within 5 minutes or less at least 25 people will appear out of nowhere. Simply ask one of them to summon some help for
you on their cell phone as soon as they are finished taking pictures of you with it.
Geode Hunter
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WaterWings
Super Administrator
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Location: Lexington KY (CB)
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Mood: Flyin High
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| posted on 11-6-2009 at 02:54 PM |
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Law of the car wash: Wash it one day...rain the next day. Guaranteed!
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dockdoc
Junior Member
Posts: 18
Registered: 1-21-2008
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Mood: lake withdrawal
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| posted on 11-6-2009 at 03:14 PM |
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Law of pocket change: The amount on the cash register is 1- 5 cents more than the amount in your pocket
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